So. I wanted to write again. I started a couple different stories. I wrote a few snippets in the world of my urban fantasy novel. I did another read-through and polish pass of said novel. I might’ve broke about 5,000 words total. I didn’t do the math when I was looking. Right now, I’d rather not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know why I haven’t written. It’s an issue I’ve been struggling with pretty much since I finished the novel. See, thing is, I think it’s good, and I know the first third is pretty decent–I’ve had several people read that and give me feedback. Past that point, though, I’m really not sure how well it works. If there’s anything boring, or unclear, anything that I know because I know the story but didn’t actually put into the novel for the readers. I can’t get anyone to read the middle and the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, Rob’s read it through, but that was pretty much because I had to practically guilt him into it. He still says he’s not the right person to give me feedback, and if I ask for help, he either doesn’t respond, or he agonizes over it for so long that I get annoyed and go away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
None of this is very encouraging. I mean, if I can’t find beta readers to read past the beginning, why should I expect that an agent would want to, or an editor, and for that matter, why would I ever expect anyone to actually pay to read the book? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know there are other options, aside from asking for people to read. Critique groups and critique partners aren’t something I’ll commit to. Small part because I’ve pretty much never had a good experience with critique groups, but largely because they’re a give and take–they read my work and give critique in exchange for me reading theirs and giving critique. I won’t promise something that I won’t follow through on, and considering that I’ve only just remembered this thing and reset the password so I could actually log in, not really a good idea for people to expect anything like that from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tried to find beta readers for two years, and then I pretty much gave up. Problem with that is that it causes enormous self-doubt and undermines any attempt I might make at writing a query. Especially for an urban fantasy, which at the moment, I know is a hard sell. And it undermines my ability to make myself put words down on paper, until I have something else finished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are still moments where I have near manic moods where I want to write–had one earlier today–but when I have pen and paper in front of me, none of the ideas coalesce into anything that wants to be words. I know this is a consequence of not having written for so long, but that doesn’t make it any less disheartening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m still trying; I’m still putting some kinda words down, like these, even if they don’t make a story. They’re still words, and that’s the important part.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So. I wanted to write again. I started a couple different stories. I wrote a few snippets in the world of my urban fantasy novel. I did another read-through and polish pass of said novel. I might’ve broke about 5,000 words total. I didn’t do the math when I was looking. Right now, I’d rather … <\/p>\n